Never Perfect, But Always Moving Forward...

Wow, it's been a long time...yet again! That's the thing about blogging. Writing has always been the easiest and most natural way for me to express myself, but as much as I love it, reaching the point mentally to type it all out is a whole other story, especially when work and life get in the way. Somehow, though, I don't think anyone out there was holding their breath waiting for a new blog post from Rosie Krajewski, so it's all good!

That said, I do appreciate those of you who have started following me ever since my friend Bonnie asked me to do a guest post on her blog. I met Bonnie in college, at the Catholic Newman Center, and she is truly one of the most incredible moms/Catholics/people I have the privilege of knowing. She is amazing and strong in her faith, but she also happens to be really funny. She inspires me every day! So, on that note, I am going to return the favor and recommend that you visit her blog too! (www.aknottedlife.blogspot.com).

Lately, I have been struggling with a few different things. For starters, maintaining this weight loss continues to be a daily battle. Preventing myself from losing control is always on my mind, which is a good thing, but whenever I start to really obsess over it, I try to remember how far I've come, and what I looked like four years ago. Mmm, yeah...not so great, but at least I found a way to use my dog to hide those couple of extra chins on my face. That counts for something, right?

This is when I was at the peak of my weight loss, the night I reached Lifetime at Weight Watchers.

And this is me now.

That last picture was taken about two weeks ago, at our annual Bears tailgating party. I feel fortunate to have kept off most of the pounds, but yes, I have put on a little bit of weight. It's something that I can't afford to get too casual about, because once you give yourself permission to really let go, things can fall apart before you even start to fully realize what's happening. I've been there in the past...but I'm determined not to make that same mistake now.

Weight loss is hard. Maintenance can be even harder. The struggle never goes away. As long as there are pizzas, ice cream sundaes, and Taco Bells in this world, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is going to be a challenge. Sometimes I wish I could be like those Biggest Loser winners who claim that they've "cleansed their bodies" from fast food and all other junk, to the point where they no longer even desire it, and they actually crave fruit instead. I guess when you've achieved fame by losing tons of weight on a television show, and millions of people are looking to you, there is pressure to set a good example. For most of us, though, those comfort foods continue to have a role in our lives, and if we can't eliminate them completely, the least we can do is find a way to live with them.

It's hard for all of us. Really, it is. It's not like when we were kids and could snack on Oreos after school, then burn them off on the swing set without thinking twice. (Those days were fun, weren't they?) The good news is that you can make a choice NOW. A choice that the hundredth potato chip you just ate will officially be your last one for the night, or that you'll skip dessert this time because you're working to get your weight back on track. It's easier said than done, but it's those small decisions along the way that make a difference when you start putting them together.

I'm not perfect. I have bad days. I tend to make poor choices when it comes to food, but there are other times when I make good ones, and again, even when they seem small, I think they add up in the long run...and those good days have prevented me from gaining all the weight back. Well, that and the fact that my mom has promised to kick my butt (in a loving motherly way, of course) if I ever go back to that toxic former life! You're never too far from a support system when you stop and look around!

Then there's the running. Oh, the running. I still love it...a lot...enough to spend money I don't have on registration fees, cute running apparel, and obnoxiously colorful shoes. Right now, my weight isn't exactly where I want it to be, so during a recent run, it felt like I had a big sack of potatoes attached to my ass. It makes the overall jogging experience a little less pleasant when you can literally feel those few extra pounds slowing you down. That's one of the biggest reasons I decided to step back from the running this week and dig out my Tae Bo workout videos. I bought them as a teenager and haven't touched them since high school, but back when I was a senior, that Advanced Tae-Bo Workout helped me lose 50 pounds in a year (which I gained back pretty quickly, but that's a whole other boring story). I always loved it, and when I got back into it this past Sunday, it felt awesome. I noticed a physical difference in just two days, and my mom says she did too. It felt good to try something different, especially after concentrating so much on running over the past few years. I guess the moral of that story is that switching up your routine as much as possible is always a good idea. When you start feeling like you're going in circles around one specific type of exercise, it is that much easier to get bored and start doubting your overall abilities.

Which brings me to another issue I've been struggling with mentally these days. I ran the Fox Valley Marathon a few weeks ago and am looking forward to my third Chicago Marathon this Sunday. I ran my very first marathon in 5:28 (with my sister there to pace me) and hovered under the 6-hour mark for a few marathons after that, but now the goal is to get as close to 6 hours as possible. On the way home from Fox Valley, my mom asked me about my time, and after a long pause, I said "About six hours. Let's just generalize it that way." It was just vague enough to be true, and it felt better than giving out the actual clock time.

My work schedule has prevented me from training the way I know I should, and yet I take any possible opportunity to sign up for a race. I can't help it. I just love them so much. I love the positive energy, the race day excitement, the whole deal....but I know I haven't been training to be anywhere near a competitive level. While thinking of a good way to describe it, I determined that it's kind of like having a job. It's like being a teacher and throwing together a lesson plan, knowing that it could benefit from more time, but it's good enough. It will do. You'll devote more to it next time, and who knows? This one just might turn out okay, and you will have done all that worrying for nothing.

Then you get to work. The lesson isn't completely successful. The day drags. You make it through somehow, but your students aren't connecting with what you're teaching and, as a result, start getting bored/acting out. You're exhausted by the end of the day because you actually made your job even more difficult by coming underprepared.

That's sort of how it feels when you continue participating in races without a strict training plan, and you keep finishing much slower than what you hoped. You can get away with "winging it" for a while, but if your mind keeps saying you can do better, then listening to it is the way to find peace.

Don't get me wrong. I will probably always be a slower runner, and I'm okay with that. I dream about Boston as much as any other runner, but I don't necessarily need to be a 3:30 marathon runner. Can I be better, though? Of course. At this point, finishing in 5 hours--heck, even 5 and a half--would feel like a dream come true. I know I can accept help from some of the many strong, amazing runners that I know, find ways to learn from them, and improve as a runner....if I'm ready for the hard work that comes with it.

Granted, there is a heck of a lot more to life than running. Hobbies are truly the tiniest, most insignificant part of life when you compare them to everything else that's out there. Deep down, I think we all know that, but trying harder and improving ourselves? That's never a waste of time when it can make us better in other areas of life. If it motivates us to be more productive at work, or to give more to the people in our lives, then what could possibly be negative about that?

It just bothers me when slower runners are criticized so much. Personally, I have amazing friends and family who have been nothing but supportive. I am so grateful for their sincere kindness and love, but it's hard not to let the outside world get in your head. When you Google "slow runners are ruining the sport" and get quotes like this, of course it has an impact:

"It's a joke to run a marathon by finishing in six, seven, eight hours."

"Slow runners have disrespected the distance."

"If you're wearing a marathon T-shirt, that doesn't mean much anymore. I always ask these people, what was your time? If it's six hours or more, I say oh, great, that's fine, but you didn't really run it."
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But then I see quotes like this, which are so much nicer and more encouraging:

"[A person who criticizes my slow time] is either a running snob and isn't supportive, or has no idea what it takes to complete a 26.2 mile course. They don't get to lessen my accomplishment."

"The majority of the time, [being slow] doesn't bother me. Other times it does, but never so much that I'll stop running."

"If you need some inspiration in your running, go to a race and wait for the runners finishing at the back of the pack. You will see some of the greatest DON'T QUIT attitudes that you will ever see."
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It might sound like my thoughts are all over the place, and it's true--they are. I guess that's what happens when you overthink things and get yourself all worked up over negative opinions that just don't matter. Trying to conform to someone else's idea of "successful" wears you out after a while. That doesn't mean we aren't all guilty of it at some point or another, but still...it's exhausting.

It makes me think a lot about whether or not I have the potential to be a faster runner, and if it's worth pursuing. If it is something I want to do, then that's fine, but it can't be because someone else thinks I should. Of course, you can be motivated by others to improve yourself--that's different. It's good to look at how others have succeeded and feel that inspiration to be better. The thing is, when you're focused on a goal that's important to you, the only way it can possibly work the way it's supposed to is if you do it for yourself, period. The same applies to everyone. Being who you are and taking pride in what you've accomplished is what matters, especially when it's contributing to your overall health, happiness, and the way you treat others. If I ever get to the point where I'm turning in a quicker marathon time, it won't be because somebody else made fun of me for being slow, or because they think I'm not good enough. It will be because I can think for myself, and make a decision that I want to make. There are so many things in life that we have no control over, but not when it comes to things like this.

It's an easy thing to write, and one of the absolute hardest pieces of advice to follow, but I'm trying, and I think others should too. You deserve to feel good about yourself and what you can do. For me, it happens to be running, but there are millions of people in this world, and just as many different ways to take your life in a positive direction. Whatever it is, just find it, grab it, and allow it to bring out your very best!

I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend! Get out there, enjoy some time away from your busy schedule, and have fun! It's as good a weekend as any to just be happy! :)

I'll close with this random picture that a friend of mine posted on Facebook, because if this doesn't make you smile, then I'm not sure what will!

Gosh, I hate when that happens...don't you??

"Shuffling On" to a Happy, Healthy Future!

Happy Easter!! I can't believe it's been over a year since I last posted on here. I really enjoyed keeping up with it when I first started, but then I got away from it for a while. Since then, my passion for running has remained the same--I've completed five full marathons, eleven half marathons, two 15Ks, and 8 5Ks since starting this journey about 19 months ago--but a lot of other things have changed. For starters, I was offered new job as a kindergarten aide last September, which increased my work hours, and two weeks ago, I began a new job as a preschool teacher for the Elmhurst Park District. It is so exciting to have this opportunity and finally be working as a teacher, but again, it has drastically changed the way I work out on a daily basis. Before this academic year, I had the freedom to be at the gym for six hours in the middle of the day, which is how I was able to focus on losing those 150 pounds, but obviously, that's not an attainable lifestyle for the long term. I always knew it was coming, and that was actually the whole reason I started this blog in the first place--to talk about the challenges of balancing healthy diet/exercise habits with all the other life responsibilities that everyone has.
It's still a daily struggle to maintain my weight. The battles I encountered at 337 pounds are still very much a part of my life today. Realistically, I always knew that those struggles wouldn't go away completely. It's something we all have to work through. It might seem a little easier for someone else when you're looking at it from your own perspective, but generally speaking, that's what life is, and LIFE is something that we all have in front of us right now. The battle I'm fighting might be different from yours, but that doesn't make it any more or less challenging. It's all just part of what we must face as we make the decision to keep working and moving forward.

Yesterday, I ran the Egg Shell Shuffle Half Marathon in Elk Grove Village--my first race in over two months--and I knew that it would be a little more difficult, since I haven't devoted the same amount of time to training. I quickly fell behind and was actually dead last before even reaching mile 2! That was frustrating at first, but then I realized... I could be disappointed that I wasn't running as well as others, or proud that I had gotten up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to go run 13 miles. I could obsess over where I was in relation to everyone else on the course, or I could smile and enjoy taking part in this race on such a beautiful, sunny spring day. I could lament over being slow, or be grateful that my body is healthy enough to run today. I've known runners with injuries and surgeries that have halted or even ended their running careers. I have no idea if I will be in that same position someday. Maybe so, but not today. Today, I can run, and anyone who's been blessed with that kind of gift shouldn't complain that they're not fast enough. Truth be told, I haven't always taken my own advice in that regard, but it's something I try to remind myself of when I start getting too worked up about my finish time.

There weren't many participants in yesterday's race, at least compared to others that I've done, so it got pretty quiet on the course, giving me time to think about why I even choose to do this with my free time. I love to run races because of the excitement that builds at the start line, the camaraderie you feel with your fellow runners on the course, the pride you feel the entire evening afterward, even when you're limping around like an 80-year-old woman....and the medals. Yes, the medals. Think I'm kidding? Actually, I'm not...I love the bling, and it's one of the top reasons I love racing. I love having it around my neck the entire day after earning it, wearing it to bed for the night, then hanging it with the others the next morning as a tangible reminder of what I accomplished. It's a material item, and as such, it is not the most important thing in the world, but it makes me happy.

So yes, that's the reason why I sign up for marathons, half marathons, 5K's, etc... The reasons why I run in general are a little different. It's because I know that I am committing to something that's challenging and succeeding at it. I am accomplishing something that takes a lot of time, self-discipline, and dedication. And if I can do that, then I can be successful at my job. I can deal with situations and people in everyday life that might not always be ideal. I can be happy. I wish everyone could have something like this in their lives that makes them feel this way. Lord knows it doesn't necessarily have to be running--it just has to be something that motivates you enough to do better...to BE better.

My high school friend Amanda ran her very first 5K yesterday (the Egg Shell Shuffle offered both a 5K and half marathon options) with her husband Andy (both pictured above). They've lost about 40 pounds each (and counting!) on Weight Watchers and have found joy in running...and not just that, but running TOGETHER. That's what it's all about. That's the beauty of running. All different kinds of people can discipline themselves, train their bodies, and prepare their minds to run. You just have to want it. Then you have to go out there and do it. I was a far cry from the skinny, physically fit, long-legged teenagers in high school who ran cross country and track, and who breezed through gym class because it came naturally to them...and yet today, at age 28, my body can run 26.2 miles. I may finish two, three, or even four hours behind those same high schoolers I was talking about before, but does it really matter all that much? If it gets you out in the fresh air, makes you happy, helps you control your weight and gives you a sense of doing something positive in your life, then what else could you possibly want? I guess we all naturally want to be just a little bit better and a little bit stronger, but sometimes, if you stop and look, what you were hoping for all along is already there.

Can you tell I got a pep talk from my mom yesterday? Yep...that's why she's one of my best friends!

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. Time to get back to work tomorrow...eeeeeeeek!

Channeling My Inner Kenyan/Polar Bear...Or Maybe Just the Polar Bear Part...

"One thing I know for sure is, you can't force the issue. If someone wants to lose weight, they will do whatever it takes. They can't do it for anybody but themselves. It has to be for them alone. Without this understanding, they will fail." ~Jennifer Hudson

This quote comes from a book called "I Got This", which I almost bought while shopping today. It's Jennifer Hudson's story of how she lost 80 pounds on Weight Watchers and has worked on maintaining a healthy lifestyle for herself and her family. I just happened to open up to the chapter where she wrote those words, and they really rang true for me, because I think the exact same thing all the time. I remember being in that position myself not too long ago. When you're really heavy and struggling to make those changes that you know are necessary, the last thing you want is to be nagged about it, especially by the people you love the most.

When I think back on my own turning point, I can't think of a very specific moment where I thought "This is it, this is what I'm going to do". There was a lot of concern from my family, especially my mom, but that isn't what truly made the difference. It couldn't be. I couldn't resolve to spend hours at the gym and change my eating habits because it would make my family happy. I couldn't do it because maybe guys would like me more if I was thin. I had to do it for myself, period, because while I was sweating away those extra pounds, making the decision to bypass that greasy pizza, or resolving to squeeze in "just one more mile", it's not as if my mother was standing right there to make sure I did what I said I would do. Very often, it was just me and the treadmill, or me standing alone in the ice cream aisle at the store, faced with the choice to be strong or give into that weakness. You have the freedom to overindulge at McDonalds or pack a healthy lunch from home, and as an adult, nobody is going to tell you no if you want to make the less healthy decision...that is, unless you tell yourself no. It's a difficult lesson to learn, and there are always days when you don't go down the best road. Even now, after losing 150 pounds, I still have a lot of ups and downs, but I have realized that I am completely in control of what happens to my body, and that motivates me to make good choices as often as I can.

These days, running is one of the greatest things I can choose to spend my spare time, and at the end of the day, it's something I never regret doing for my health. Yesterday, I ran the inaugural Chicago Polar Dash downtown, and while it was definitely the coldest 13.1 miles I ever had to complete, it was a great race all around, and I'm glad I dragged myself out of bed to get out there on a Saturday morning. This post has already gotten a little longer than I was hoping, so I'll just go through some of the highlights of the race now, because for me, it's always fun to look back on a fun day :)

1. I finished the half marathon in 2:46, which is a good ten minutes behind my usual time for 13 miles. That was a little disappointing, but with all the snow, slush and ice, it was definitely expected. I'm pretty sure almost everyone adjusted their times accordingly to avoid unnecessary injury. I made up my mind early on that this was just going to be fun. With all that white powder on the ground, frigid temperatures and lake effect snow, it was a true "Polar Dash", and that's what we all signed up for with this race, so personally, I loved it. I ran slow and steady, stopped to take my energy gels when needed, and when I had to stop at mile 12 to use the bathroom, I didn't worry about the effect it would have on my finish time. This was a day to enjoy and experience something I love in an environment that I never ran in before, and I can honestly say that I had an awesome time. As my mom pointed out, the whole reason to do this is to have fun and reap the health benefits that come with it.

2. One of the highlights of the day was running into Jim and Mandy, two college friends whom I haven't seen in maybe seven or eight years. This was a really long time ago, when I was still attending WIU, and they were the ones who actually spotted me in the crowd at the start line! Mandy is the amazing mother of five children who devotes time to her family while still finding time to do something positive for her health (running), and her husband Jim was there to support her. He even proposed to her when she crossed the finish line (15 minutes ahead of me...not that I'm bitter or anything, haha), despite the fact that they've been married for six years! It's always great to bump into old friends and be reassured that you're not the only one crazy enough to run 13.1 miles in the freezing snow on a Saturday morning!

3. For safety reasons that involved having a clearly shoveled path, the course was changed at the last minute on race day. Runners had the option of doing either a 10K (a little over 6 miles) or the half marathon. What happened is that the 10K and half marathoners crossed the finish line at exactly the same time, and while there was a specific lane for the 10K'ers to finish, the rest of us went right through the start line again and repeated almost the exact same course for the second portion of the half marathon. It was definitely weird having to do the same thing twice, but at the same time, it was kind of nice to know what to expect the second time around, and exactly how long it would take to get all the way back around. I know it annoyed a lot of runners, and understandably so, but I didn't mind it too much.

4. You know you're living in 2012 when you're running a half marathon and actually recognize a complete stranger from Facebook! I am a "fan" of the Chicago Polar Dash page on Facebook, and I've been visiting it several times a week to get updates on the race. When the originally scheduled Polar Dash was postponed on the 14th due to weather conditions and pushed back to the 21st, some people revolted by posting how they held their own Polar Dashes in their hometowns, despite the fact that the city of Chicago considered the weather conditions "critically unsafe". Two registrants posted a picture of themselves with the homemade snowflake medals that they wore after running 13 miles, and at the actual race yesterday, there was one point where I was running a few steps behind them. I came close to saying hi, but they were having a conversation with each other, and plus, I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of sounding like a total creeper. Anyway, the point is, you know that times have changed tremendously when you can honestly say "Hey, total stranger, I think I know you...from Facebook"!

5. Again, the weather was less than ideal for most runners. It was cold and windy, there were huge puddles of slush (one in particular around mile 10) to jump over, and getting snow flurries right in the eyes wasn't always pleasant. One of my fellow running friends warned me beforehand that my energy gels and water bottles would most likely freeze in my pockets, and while I wasn't totally convinced at first, my Gu gels were definitely hard midway through the race! So, Mrs. Kwit, if you are reading this...I will be sure to pay more attention to your advice next time!

6. As I've mentioned before, it's always so important to listen to your body while running, no matter what. In a previous post, I talked about how the Hot Chocolate 15K in November turned into a nightmare when I had fainting spells and ended up in the ER just hours after crossing the finish line. As runners, we sometimes ignore the water stations or avoid using the bathrooms along the course because we don't want anything to get in the way of our finish times...but ultimately, it just isn't worth it. Maybe someday, I will be a more competitive distance runner and focus on speed work, especially since I aspire to qualify for the Boston Marathon by the time I'm 40. For now, though, I'm just running "for the health of it", as they say. Yesterday was the first time I really just let go of the concerns to beat my last finish time, and sure, I was a little bummed at the end, but I can't remember having as much fun at any of my other marathons. I firmly believe that was the reason why.

7. I love the multi-colored running shoes that I bought at Runner's Soul a few months ago and have used for all but one of every major race I have ever run. Eventually they will wear out, and I'll have to get a new pair, but I don't think I'll ever be able to get rid of them now. I was slightly embarrassed at first, because to put it bluntly, I definitely stand out in those shoes, but it's always fun to get compliments from fellow runners along the course. Many marathoners like to wear something a little loud and unique that makes the event more memorable, whether it's a sparkly tiara, a pink tutu, or funky shoes that glow in the dark. Hey, if it makes completing those miles more bearable, then why not? :)

8. Speaking of ways to make a marathon more bearable, I have just one word for that: DOGS. I would like to personally thank any person with the good sense to walk their little four-legged babies on the grounds where a race is taking place, or even better, to have them on the sidelines. I don't know if everyone would agree with me on that, but to me, there's nothing more uplifting than seeing an adorable puppy in his little jacket and shoes to protect his paws from the ice. If I sound like a complete nutcase right now, I apologize, but I don't know...something about that just always makes me want to run a little harder, no matter how tired I am at that particular moment.

9. When it comes to reaching our goals and doing the things we love in life, I think we can all agree that we couldn't do it without the support of at least one person in our lives...and in most cases, it's more than one person. For me, my entire family has been incredible, but I have found a lot of amazing support from my mom, who travels with me to all my races. She works full time as a kindergarten teacher and could probably think of a hundred things she'd rather be doing on a Saturday morning (like sleeping, for instance), but she is always there for me, and I never forget that. In fact, a fellow running friend who met us at the train station that morning said "You have a wonderful mom", and I couldn't agree more. Having lunch with her downtown after these races is one of my favorite things about all of it. I am grateful for her and all she does to help me continue doing what I love. That's a true mom right there! I am extremely lucky to have the parents I do.

10. Now I'd like to end this posting with yet another quote: "Some people see all the negative things that have happened to them and ask why. Others focus on what they never had and ask why not. Then there are those who realize all they are blessed with and say thank you every day".

Have a great week, everyone! Keep doing what makes you feel happy and healthy, and be sure to thank those who help you along the way!

Question of the Week: How are your New Year's resolutions going? How do you motivate yourself to keep at it after the first few exciting weeks of January have passed?

New Year, Fresh Start...It's There for the Taking!

It's currently 10:55 in Chicago, and it will soon be time to watch the ball drop in Times Square and kick off 2012! It would be incredible to actually be there someday on December 31st and experience it all firsthand, but for now, watching in HD TV will do just fine!

The great thing about New Year's Eve is that it's a time to feel hopeful, start fresh, put past hurts and mistakes behind us, and move forward with the confidence that "our year" is just ahead. It can be easy to look back on the year that is ending and focus mostly on the negative things that have happened. Since the excitement of the Christmas season has subsided, and many of us are feeling a little depressed about that anyway, it's natural to start concentrating on what you don't have, rather than what you do have. For me personally, I still haven't found a full-time teaching job, which is frustrating to say the least. A lot of friends from grade school, high school, and college have married and started families, which reminds me of how much I want a husband and kids of my own. Despite having been successful on Weight Watchers, there are still days when I wish I was even thinner (ah, yes, don't we all?) I wish my anxiety in general didn't get the best of me in everyday life, and I'd love to just enjoy life more instead of getting annoyed so easily at the littlest, most insignificant things.

The thing is, everybody has moments where they feel a little (or maybe a lot) sorry for themselves, thinking about the negative things and wishing they could change them. That's okay. Really, everyone does it. It could actually be a good thing if, after allowing yourself that "Debbie Downer Time", you switch gears and remember all the positives, too. I may not have a full-time teaching position yet, but I am working part-time in an elementary school and gaining experience working with children. I have a job, period, with enough income to pay my bills, and that is absolutely something to be grateful for in today's world. I ran my first marathon this fall and reached a total of 150 pounds lost. I have a great family, a close relationship with my parents and sisters, and if I happen to marry and have children eventually, that will be awesome...but it's not going to ruin my life if I don't. So many other wonderful things have happened for me so far, like my newfound life as a runner, and heck, if Rosie Krajewski can turn into a runner willingly, then anything is possible! :)

So, to end this post, I will include a quote spoken by Hilary Swank's character in the movie New Years Eve, which seems pretty appropriate for right now. I loved the film's message about life and the attitude that should be adopted as we move into 2012:
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"Before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year...stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. Remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt, because that is what New Years is all about - getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about what if and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight--and it WILL drop--let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight, but all year long."
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Have an amazing start to the New Year, everyone! Remember to look back on all the good things from 2011, and as for the not-so-good...well, just put it behind you and make 2012 everything you want it to be! Nobody's stopping you! :)

Question of the Day: What is one thing you look forward to most about the New Year? What's one thing you really want to do/accomplish this year?


Oh, and for the record...looking at this sweet little guy's face is a constant reminder that life is just plain GOOD! God knew what He was doing when He gave us animals :)

Here's to a LIFETIME of change!!!

Well, it's been a long time coming--39 months, to be exact. If you go beyond that, though, this day has been on its way for many years, since those days as an awkward, chubby kid with a monstrous love for food.

It all started with this little girl right here. She wasn't horribly obese quite yet, but I guess you could say the signs were always there. When you look at this kid celebrating her 10th birthday at home with her family, would you believe that she was capable of eating raw cookie dough by the package, straight from the freezer? I thought I was pretty good at hiding it from my mother, but I don't think it always worked out that way.

Things had gone from bad to worse for that same girl once she hit this point. She should have known when shopping for a presentable outfit for that wedding was nothing but anger and frustration, and she could only dream of ever fitting into a dress like her friend Leanne's on the far left...

Today, however, is just the beginning of a lifetime for this girl. Despite being the same person on the inside, there is now a personal desire to be healthy that wasn't there before, and hopefully it is here to stay!

Tonight, on Wednesday, December 7, 2011, I officially became a Lifetime Member at Weight Watchers (152.8 pounds lost altogether), and it feels AMAZING!! Looking back on the journey, there came a point where I knew I was experiencing more success than I had in the past, but there was still that nagging feeling that I wouldn't actually get down to the weight that is considered healthy for a person of my height. In fact, I had occasionally mentioned the possibility of eventually getting a note from my doctor that approved me to be a slightly heavier weight than Weight Watchers recommended, and still be able to obtain Lifetime status. It just didn't seem possible that I could make it that far on my own.

To be sure, it's taken a VERY long time to get here, and there have been a lot of difficult moments, but now I can't imagine being anywhere else. I am grateful for so many people who were there along the way, because no matter what we may believe, there is no way we could ever do these things in life by ourselves. I am especially thankful that my family was there the entire time for guidance--specifically my mom, who always seemed to know when to offer gentle words of encouragement, and when to just be completely straightforward. So many times, I wished she would just get off my back about the whole thing, but today, I have a better understanding of the fact that she was doing what any loving, concerned parent would do. It was a rough lesson to learn, and it didn't come quickly or easily. In the end, I appreciate that she--and my entire family--loved me when I was at my heaviest and motivated me to become healthier...because that's something we all deserve to do for ourselves. I am also thankful for Weight Watchers, an incredible weight loss program that teaches its members to view all foods--and I do mean all foods--as part of everyday life, not to be feared or avoided. I have been inspired by every single person who has offered kind words of encouragement, serving as a constant reminder that we should always try to lift each other up when we can.

My goal right now is to maintain my current weight for the rest of December, then pick it back up again in January with the weight loss, and possibly lose another 30 to 40 pounds so I can be at my truly ideal weight. The trick to getting through these long winter months will be switching up my exercise routine a little, trying new things whenever possible, and not being so resistant to change. I am so used to putting a movie or TV show on my iPad and just going to town, but I know it's not realistic to stick with the exact same workout regime every day. I can feel that my body has adjusted to my frequent running patterns, to the point where weight loss has been at a standstill, so hopefully that will improve over time. Today, I tried the elliptical machine and stationary bike for a change, along with more simple walking, and it made a difference. As much as I love running, it feels good to try something new.

Through all of this, I have also learned that countless people out there aspire to lose weight and get healthier, and while many of them are successful, no two stories are exactly alike. Thanks to a part-time work schedule over the past few years, I've been able to concentrate on daily exercise as almost a full-time job. That's a situation that obviously will not last for the long term, but it came at a time in my life where I could really use that focus, and I will never, ever regret it. What worked for me may not work for others, though, and when real life gets in the way, we show the world what we're made of by simply lifting our heads up and getting it done.

Take Jason Maxwell, for instance. I came across his blog when he posted it to the Chicago Marathon message board on Facebook, and it has definitely been inspiring. He has lost 140 pounds (and counting) since January 2011, and he also happens to have a wife, three kids, and a full-time job. People like him are proof that having a family and busy schedule is no excuse to give up on doing something positive for your health. When Jason made it a priority to change his eating habits and drop the weight, he made it happen, despite any obstacles that were in the way. That's how it is for all of us, because honestly, "the perfect time" is never going to just come. The key is creating the time, and making the most of the time we have to do these things that are important. When I heard Jason's story, I thought to myself, three years ago, what if I had a husband, a few kids, a house, a full time teaching job, and an overall more hectic life than I have right now? Would I still have been able to lose 150 pounds in the same time frame? Would I have felt motivated to do so, or would I have continued to make excuses? I guess we'll never know the answers to questions like this when we ask ourselves.

 One thing's for sure--I admire people in Jason's position who find a way to achieve that. His circumstances were completely different than mine when he started his own weight loss journey, but we somehow reached the same place, and we both continue to look for opportunities to get healthier. On some days, we just don't feel like being productive, which is why it is so helpful to get a new perspective. Find inspiration from someone else who may have similar goals in mind, and use their accomplishments to possibly fine-tune your own aspirations for the future. It really does work! If you want to read Jason's blog, it is www.jason-maxwell.blogspot.com

Question of the Day: Do you know of any specific success stories from others who have inspired you personally? If you can (and if those people don't mind), feel free to post their stories, blog addresses, etc... We all love the opportunity to get inspired :)

Time to Play Catch Up...

The Bears just scored a touchdown to take a 17-10 lead, which seems like a pretty good time to start a new blog post! HOORAY!!!! Well, nothing too interesting has been going on around here, but it's still been pretty busy, as life tends to be. A week after finishing the Monster Dash, I ran the Chicago Hot Chocolate 15K (approximately 9.3 miles), which was great until I started having fainting spells an hour and a half later! Mom and I walked over to Macy's after the race to watch them light the Christmas tree in the Walnut Room for the season. I was feeling perfectly fine, but about 30 seconds before they turned it on, I suddenly felt dizzy. We tried to make our way through the crowd and sit somewhere, but the next thing I knew, I had passed out in the middle of all those people. Ugh, how embarrassing! I sat down and drank some water (the restaurant staff and people visiting were so helpful), but five minutes later, the exact same thing happened again. Needless to say, our fun lunch under the tree was postponed so we could spend four hours in the Northwestern emergency room. All ended up being fine, though, thank goodness, and to prove that this really is a small world, one of the paramedics in the ambulance happened to be married to a teacher at the school where I work in Elmhurst! Anyway, to make a long story short, an important lesson was learned that day: it is never a good idea to refrain from drinking liquids during a race because you don't want your bladder to get in the way of the ideal finish time. I did end up finishing in about one hour and forty four minutes, which felt awesome at the time, but as luck would have it, my time was not recorded for some reason! So clearly, this was not my smoothest or most memorable day as a runner, but hey, that's okay! Hiccups in the road just make life a little more interesting...and again, if you're lucky, you learn how to avoid the same mistakes next time.

Finally home and able to relax after one heck of a crazy day. The only person more relieved than I was my poor mother :)

The good news is that Mom and I traveled back downtown five days later for an early dinner in the Walnut Room, to make up for the lunch we had missed over the weekend. The tree is gorgeous this year, as always, and since it was a weekday in early November, there were no crowds!

                         This picture was taken a few minutes before I passed out on Saturday...

Aah, that's MUCH better! Five days later, in the exact same place :)

                  One giant tree in the middle of several smaller ones...the pink is my favorite!!

I don't care how old you get...when you see something like a "Believe Meter" at Macy's at the beginning of the holiday season, you feel like a kid all over again! The really cool thing about this is that they have these red mailboxes scattered throughout the store, along with little tables/crayons for kids to write letters to Santa. Inspired by the famous story Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus, Macy's will donate one dollar (up to a million dollars) to the Make a Wish Foundation for every letter that is put in these mailboxes. It's part of their 2011 Believe Campaign, so if you have kids and live near the city, it's definitely worth your time to stop by.

Soooooo....what else to report? Well, the weekend after the Hot Chocolate Race, my sister Katie asked me to do a Girls on the Run 5K race with her, since her school district was participating in it and needed extra adults to pair up with grade school students for the race. It was a lot of fun and reminded me how awesome it can be to introduce kids to the world of running. As a high impact sport that requires mental strength as much as physical preparation, there's something incredible about knowing that you have completed that distance. The third grade girl I ran with, Claudia, was so cute and enthusiastic, and it was great to see so many young girls participating in this event. After all, how can you possibly argue with an activity that promotes physical health in children as they work together to support a good cause?

Since my last post, I also finally managed to reach my goal weight at Weight Watchers and am now in the middle of a six-week maintenance program. On December 7th, if I have remained within two pounds of my goal weight, I can become a Lifetime member. It feels amazing to finally have reached that point. The hard work never stops, since maintaining a healthy weight is a permanent, full-time job, but with the support of family and friends, it is do-able. I am grateful to everyone who has been there for me throughout this journey, and I hope that anyone who is looking to do the same thing can find the motivation to start from inside themselves. Resolve to do it for you, not for anyone else, and I think you'll be surprised at how your perspective changes. It's exhausting to try and do certain things because you think it will please others. The truth is that our friends and loved ones aren't against us, even though it might seem that way every once in a while. They just want us to be happy, and a huge part of that comes from taking care of ourselves. When that happens, we're on our way to being better people, better friends...and better everything!

Question of the Day: Did any of you see Breaking Dawn this weekend, and if so, what did you think of it? Completely random question, I know, but my friend Jenny and I went to the first midnight showing on Thursday (or Friday, I should say), and it was definitely a cool experience. Listening to hundreds of teenyboppers (and yes, some grown women) squeal with excitement every time Taylor Lautner takes off his shirt never ceases to be funny! The overall phenomenon of the Twilight movies is what makes it so much fun...makes me wish I had jumped on the Harry Potter bandwagon while the movies were being made. Now I want to read all those books and start watching the movies!

Life as a Marathonaholic...Still Lovin' It!!!

About 5 minutes before the official start time for the 2011 MONSTER DASH!!!!! YEAH!!!!


This post will probably be shorter this time--and note that I did say probably--because as soon as I'm done, I'm going to get in bed with dinner, watch Monte Carlo on Blu-ray, and just chill for the rest of the evening! Yes, I'm one of those girls who watches Selena Gomez movies on a Saturday night...and that's okay! :)

It was a long day--but a very fun and happy one--at the Chicago Monster Dash with my mom. I ran my second half marathon in 2:39:18, which is four minutes longer than my finish time at the Chicago Half Marathon in September, and a 13-minute drop from the halfway mark at the Chicago Marathon. But in that case, you must understand that I was running with my sister Katie, aka the girl with legs like lightning, and she was not there today to help me stretch beyond those limits. Still, it was a beautiful course to run along, and I only stopped running to tie my shoes and go to the bathroom at mile 9, so all in all, I'm happy with my finish time.

The weather was about as perfect as it can get at the tail end of October...a little chilly, but sunny skies the entire time, and the crowd of runners was considerably thinner than the last two marathons I've done, so there was plenty of open space to run along the lakefront. The only bummer was that there were hardly any spectators, and considering the beautiful day it was, that was a little surprising. We were definitely spoiled at the Chicago Marathon and Half Marathon, respectively, with the large numbers of supporters out there, and this time around, the course was very...quiet. Even the runners weren't hooting and hollaring the way they normally do. There were a lot of feet hitting the pavement, and a few isolated conversations were going on, but the tone of the race was definitely different in that respect. It wasn't necessarily bad--just different. That said, there were certain points on the course that had more people watching, including Navy Pier and the start/finish lines, and as always, the volunteers were amazing. A lot goes into the making these events successful, and there was a lot of kindness and generosity going around at the Chicago Monster today. I loved spending the time with my mom (we had lunch at Bennigan's after the race), and at least in my eyes, she's the best supporter in the world!! Now it's time to look forward to the Inaugural Chicago Polar Dash on January 14th...yeah, it's gonna be a frigid one, but the way I see it, if you're gonna be outside at that time of year, you might as well warm yourself up by running 13.1 miles around the city! Sounds fun, right? :)

Other than that, things have pretty much been the same around here. Wednesday was an incredibly exciting night, because I reached my goal weight at my Weight Watchers meeting. What this means is that I now have to enter a six-week maintenance program, and at the end of that sixth week, if I am no more than two pounds above my current weight, I will receive a Lifetime pass to attend Weight Watchers for free (as long as I maintain that goal weight). It was awesome to share my before and after pictures with the group and talk a little about my journey over the past three years, and it's also incredible to think that I have reached this point. It's taken a lot of time and hard work. At the same time, though, there's that feeling like...okay...now what? When you've been working toward something very specific for so long, you find yourself wondering what the next challenge is going to be. I am hopeful that I can lose another 40 pounds or so (I've lost 154 so far), but I'm trying not to get too worked up about that. First, we'll see how these six weeks of maintenance go, because staying disciplined and not slipping back into old habits is going to be difficult enough. I think we all know what that can be like. Tonight, for instance, I am treating myself to a sausage stromboli from Sbarro's (picked it up for dinner after the race because I haven't had Sbarro's in at least a year and have been craving it like no other), and while it's fine to indulge once in a while, it can be rough getting back on track the next day.

You know how it goes...once you have one or two less-than-healthy meals, you start craving the bad stuff again, and like an evil manipulator, your body will try coaxing you back in the wrong direction. Fortunately, I've gotten better at spotting the warning signs for this, and if we are firm enough with ourselves, we can learn how to keep out of trouble. I guess that's one of the reasons I love running so much. A friend of mine recently said that running has been her saving grace in maintaining her weight, because even if she eats badly over the weekend, she can exercise the next day and use that as a springboard to get back on the wagon. That's the incredible thing about exercise--when you learn to take advantage of it and integrate it into your regular routine, more healthy eating is sure to follow.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday night (I know I will) and has a beautiful, relaxing Sunday tomorrow. Always work hard and stay focused on your goals, but don't forget to enjoy life too!

Question of the Day: It's a simple one...what makes you happy?

Here I am shortly after crossing the finish line. The medal and post-race string cheese are the best part!

Hanging out at home with my medal and new Monster hat...and of course, my fabulous dad :)

As you can tell, this jacket is just a little...incandescent, shall we say? My dad says it looks like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket, and I guess I can't disagree with him on that one. Oh, the things we love wearing to make life just a little bit brighter! :)